After doing so much research online and through my college regarding Autism Spectrum Disorders the constant diagnostic statistic of for every girl diagnosed with an ASD there is FOUR boys diagnosed with it. (I am using my memory here from my reading and none of my "statistics" may be actually accurate I am going by what I have read online).
For one thing it is my personal belief that it is because girls are less aggressive and more emotional anyway. Therefore a girl having temper tantrums is not too far from the "norm" of a girl crying when upset, etc. A boy have extreme emotions seems to be a little more noticeable.
I always hear that the diagnosis of Autism Spectrum Disorders has something like tripled since the 90s. This makes people thing that it is being over diagnosed. However, I find humor in that. The fact that all of these non-profit organizations have created public interest in the media and increased the knowledge of symptoms this has created a net that allows people with milder forms to be caught in the net to receive treatment. The knowledge of the disorder was what they intended when creating these agencies and charities.
My daughter just recently received the "official" diagnosis of PDD-NOS. This diagnosis is due to the fact that she can speak. Her more severe behaviors are obsessive, controlling behaviors, tantrums, and lack of appropriate social skills. She also has repetitive behaviors like humming, rocking, and twisting and flapping her arms and wrists (although ironically I never really noticed anything weird about her hand movements until after she received the diagnosis, now I notice it all the time.).
Getting the diagnosis has helped already. For one thing I feel that I understand her problems better and have started to "pick my battles".
I have eased up on letting her no wear things she doesn't want to wear (underwear with no tags);
I am more tolerant of her hyperactivity;
I use simpler ways of talking to her and more sure she understands me;
I give her one direction at a time;
I let her talk about what she wants to talk about and try to keep her talking and making eye contact;
I try to be more affectionate and take notice of everything she does that is appropriate;
The diagnosis has also helped the school realize that she needs the services. She now has a behavior plan and reduced amount of homework that is more at her level. She will also be participating in a social skills group to learn how to "play nice".
If you have a child and you're worried about symptoms, push for an evaluation. The worst thing you will be told is that there is nothing wrong. There is nothing wrong with hearing that. (although if your gut still tells you otherwise you might want to seek a second opinion). This is especially with girls. Girls are less likely to get diagnosed probably because they still present as less severe then boys. It is my personal belief that there are just as many girls as boys on the "spectrum" and that they are under-diagnosed, particularly "milder" cases like my daughters. My daughter's severe symptoms are her behaviors and social skill but she can speak and although her conversations can be one-sided, she can still have them.
Of course the more severe the case, the more intervention is needed. I am fortunate that my daughter doesn't have classic Autism in which they can't talk or care for themselves and there is mental retardation. However, just because it is considered "mild" in comparison to other kids "on the lower functioning end " it is still serious when comparing to another "normal" child's social and academic abilities. There is still a need for intervention, in fact in some ways the milder cases are probably the ones who should receive services because there is more of a chance for those services to help the symptoms and give that child more of a chance of "recovering" from it.
I love my daugher, she is adorable. SHe wants to learn to play the guitar! Maybe we will teach her:)
Sunday, March 11, 2012
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Daughter's Behaviors
Yesterday I received the report on the Functional Behavioral Assessment completed by a Certified Behavioral Analsyst through the school.
My daughter's behaviors at school were even worse than I had thought. She was reportedly laying on the floor for most of the day; chewing on her sleeves, pencils, not complying with teachers directions, running away, climbing trees, hugging the staff, talking to peers without them responding to her, talking and singing to herself, pacing around the room, yelling to other kids (not responding), not making eye contact, screaming, rolling on the floor, crawling under the desks, running out of the classroom, as well as failing to interact appropriately with peers.
This increases my anger that the school has more then once labelled her as "average." I am angry at myself too because early on in her life her symptoms were present, but then she was put on medication, which helped. I remember thinking that she might be autistic because of the humming that she does whenever she is "zoned in" on something.
I didn't really understand Autism then (and I still don't now but I know it a little better). The humming reminded me of another child with Autism but that particular child didn't speak. When Piper began to speak I dismissed it. I went down the ADHD road, the Bipolar road, the Dyslexia road (and she definitely has ADHD and Dyslexia as well), and the Autism thing kept coming back up.
Her Neurologist has made the PDD-NOS diagnosis based on my observations, the schools testing, neuro-psychological testing, the schools comments in communication books, and the fact that he has been involved with Piper for the past 3 years.
I am angry about the way my daughter's teacher implied that Piper's learning problems were all abotu me not practicing her spelling words and homework with her. I have gone over and over again in my head thinking that i am the reason for her difficulties. I know that living with my parents before living with me probably does have an environmental aspect to her condition that probably contributed to her problems in some way. However, I am feeling that the genetic aspect of her condition, combined with the fact that my other children do not have the same issues despite being in a similar living situation, makes it clear that this is accurate.
I have endured criticism by other parents, the school, my own parents, family, and friends all that think I just have this desire to give my daughter a label.
Reading this FBA has made me feel more confident that finally an independent evaluation has proven that my daughter's behaviors are linked to something other then me just being a bad mother.
I absolutely believe that she is on the Autistic Spectrum and finally her behaviors, the dyslexia, the ADHD it all just makes so much more sense now. It may be a while before the school will accept the diagnosis and I may have to get even more testing (Sigh, this poor child has been put through a battery of tests) but eventually I will get her the services she needs.
The school must provide my daughter with certain services and no matter how long it takes I am going to get them for her. I am definitely interested in hearing other peoples stories! Thank you for listening. My daughter is not this monster they portray her as. She is a sweet, loving, little girl who loves to please. She just needs to understand what is being asked of her in order to do it correctly.
My daughter's behaviors at school were even worse than I had thought. She was reportedly laying on the floor for most of the day; chewing on her sleeves, pencils, not complying with teachers directions, running away, climbing trees, hugging the staff, talking to peers without them responding to her, talking and singing to herself, pacing around the room, yelling to other kids (not responding), not making eye contact, screaming, rolling on the floor, crawling under the desks, running out of the classroom, as well as failing to interact appropriately with peers.
This increases my anger that the school has more then once labelled her as "average." I am angry at myself too because early on in her life her symptoms were present, but then she was put on medication, which helped. I remember thinking that she might be autistic because of the humming that she does whenever she is "zoned in" on something.
I didn't really understand Autism then (and I still don't now but I know it a little better). The humming reminded me of another child with Autism but that particular child didn't speak. When Piper began to speak I dismissed it. I went down the ADHD road, the Bipolar road, the Dyslexia road (and she definitely has ADHD and Dyslexia as well), and the Autism thing kept coming back up.
Her Neurologist has made the PDD-NOS diagnosis based on my observations, the schools testing, neuro-psychological testing, the schools comments in communication books, and the fact that he has been involved with Piper for the past 3 years.
I am angry about the way my daughter's teacher implied that Piper's learning problems were all abotu me not practicing her spelling words and homework with her. I have gone over and over again in my head thinking that i am the reason for her difficulties. I know that living with my parents before living with me probably does have an environmental aspect to her condition that probably contributed to her problems in some way. However, I am feeling that the genetic aspect of her condition, combined with the fact that my other children do not have the same issues despite being in a similar living situation, makes it clear that this is accurate.
I have endured criticism by other parents, the school, my own parents, family, and friends all that think I just have this desire to give my daughter a label.
Reading this FBA has made me feel more confident that finally an independent evaluation has proven that my daughter's behaviors are linked to something other then me just being a bad mother.
I absolutely believe that she is on the Autistic Spectrum and finally her behaviors, the dyslexia, the ADHD it all just makes so much more sense now. It may be a while before the school will accept the diagnosis and I may have to get even more testing (Sigh, this poor child has been put through a battery of tests) but eventually I will get her the services she needs.
The school must provide my daughter with certain services and no matter how long it takes I am going to get them for her. I am definitely interested in hearing other peoples stories! Thank you for listening. My daughter is not this monster they portray her as. She is a sweet, loving, little girl who loves to please. She just needs to understand what is being asked of her in order to do it correctly.
Friday, March 2, 2012
Daughter's Diagnosis Road has reached the end.
After a heartwrenching, stressful journey down the road of a diagnostic nightmare my daughter's Autism Spectrum Disorder (well more specificially PDD-NOS) diagnosis has finally been made. Her symptoms, behaviors, combined with the results of what I feel is a million different types of evaluations, neuropsychological assessments, sensory testing, behavior observations, school testings, and more, showed that she met the criteria and the Neurologist made the diagnosis.
Getting the diagnosis for my daughter was particularly difficult for two reasons. The first being that she was put on medication at only 4 years old. This was not done by me, this was done by my parents, with whom she lived at the time. The medication helped with the symptoms and she seemed to develop reasonably well (until now when she is stalling in development and other kids her age are flying by her). The second reason is being that she can talk. The medication helped her appear just a little "odd" instead of the full range of symptoms.Most people think of autism as a condition in which the child can not speak. Myself included. In fact most can speak.
My daughters unmedicated symptoms are becoming more apparent because as she grows older and the medication dosage remains the same she has outgrown the dose and i refuse to up the dose. My daughter lays on the floor, removes her shoes, runs away from teachers, hides, plays obsessively with water, steals things and keeps a collection of them, collects trash and rocks, she licks people and objects, chews anything she can, makes odd noises and moves constantly. She doesn't understand social "rules" and is controlling, will interrupt anyone, she lacks the ability to control her body. She is also prone to tantrums, biting, screeching, as well as other defiant behaviors. She is also sensitive to noises that might not irritate an average person (soft clicking, keyboard, cell phone keys). She also can not grasp math and reading skills (she's dyslexic ). She writes upside down and backwards. She has difficulty following instructions. The medication reduces these symptoms, but doesn't eliminate them.
My daughter's official diagnosis as of today is PDD-NOS and ADHD. PDD-NOS is a diagnosis that is on the higher functioning end of the autism spectrum but still comes under the umbrella. This diagnosis SHOULD get the school to give Piper the services at school that they still are refusing. I believe I still have a long road ahead to get the school to help her. They have pretty much labeled Piper as a disobedient child. Every comment about her is negative. She REFUSED to do this. She took off her socks and shoes and hid. She sung to herself to get other students attention.
It is so sad that my daughter who is sweet and loveable for the most part, is getting treated like this because the school wants to save money.
Anyway my next meeting is March 8th, 2012 I will let you know how it goes.
:)
Getting the diagnosis for my daughter was particularly difficult for two reasons. The first being that she was put on medication at only 4 years old. This was not done by me, this was done by my parents, with whom she lived at the time. The medication helped with the symptoms and she seemed to develop reasonably well (until now when she is stalling in development and other kids her age are flying by her). The second reason is being that she can talk. The medication helped her appear just a little "odd" instead of the full range of symptoms.Most people think of autism as a condition in which the child can not speak. Myself included. In fact most can speak.
My daughters unmedicated symptoms are becoming more apparent because as she grows older and the medication dosage remains the same she has outgrown the dose and i refuse to up the dose. My daughter lays on the floor, removes her shoes, runs away from teachers, hides, plays obsessively with water, steals things and keeps a collection of them, collects trash and rocks, she licks people and objects, chews anything she can, makes odd noises and moves constantly. She doesn't understand social "rules" and is controlling, will interrupt anyone, she lacks the ability to control her body. She is also prone to tantrums, biting, screeching, as well as other defiant behaviors. She is also sensitive to noises that might not irritate an average person (soft clicking, keyboard, cell phone keys). She also can not grasp math and reading skills (she's dyslexic ). She writes upside down and backwards. She has difficulty following instructions. The medication reduces these symptoms, but doesn't eliminate them.
My daughter's official diagnosis as of today is PDD-NOS and ADHD. PDD-NOS is a diagnosis that is on the higher functioning end of the autism spectrum but still comes under the umbrella. This diagnosis SHOULD get the school to give Piper the services at school that they still are refusing. I believe I still have a long road ahead to get the school to help her. They have pretty much labeled Piper as a disobedient child. Every comment about her is negative. She REFUSED to do this. She took off her socks and shoes and hid. She sung to herself to get other students attention.
It is so sad that my daughter who is sweet and loveable for the most part, is getting treated like this because the school wants to save money.
Anyway my next meeting is March 8th, 2012 I will let you know how it goes.
:)
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Temporary Compromise on HW and Spelling and daughter's peculiar behaviors.
I have finally reached a sort of compromise with the school while we wait for the IEP meeting. My daughter will receive her spelling words and homework packet on Fridays and they will be due Friday. She also receives a list of shorter, kindergarten words. (So they can change the actual words to different ones but can't reduce them without a meeting.......lol).
Anyway I have finally just flat out told them if she can't do it she can't do it end of story. I have begun journaling her daily behaviors, I have made a sticker chart that has been working (although Piper can't read the chart so i am going to develop one made out of pictures for her ), and I have included another chart for amount of time spent on homework spelling words a day that I put right in her communication book.
I had made a communication book with emoticons where the teacher could simply check off Piper's mood as she completed the tasks each day and they said it was too complicated. Which I find amusing because all they do not is check mark whether or not she did the task. Anyway, so it is back to the drawing board on the communication book.
Another set back is Piper's recent unusual behavior which has included whispering to herself daily, especially at night, repeating her name over and over again, chewing on her sleeves (she's always done that but it seemed like it has stopped for a while), and licking EVERYTHING. She was even licking the windows of my dad's new car.
Because she gets her medication at night a little later now I think that might contribute to the behaviors from last night. She came out of the hallway of the boys and girls club going "Piper Piper Piper Piper Piper Piper" she had to touch everything, including glass picture frames that I had to stop her or they would have broken, and it was difficult to not only get her to get her coat, but to get it on her because she kept missing the sleeve and spinning around. Piper has always displayed these behaviors but not as often as this and the medication has kept them within reason. I am beginning to worry that the medication is making her worse (in the sense that if she were to stop taking it she would be WORSE, even though now it helps control her symptoms).
I really want to stop the medication and let it flush out of her system and then really get an idea of what she is really like without it because some of the stuff is getting weird. She even has talked to herself in the third person, but was serious. She had a temper tantrum when she asked for 3 hot dogs and I JOKINGLY told her she could only have a half of hot dog.
I really want to stop the medication before it does more damage and /or at the very least see what her behaviors are without it. The medication doesn't seem to be working as well anyway probably because she is growing and the dosage stays the same.
I wish I knew what to do..................If it weren't for the school i would wean her off the meds just to get an accurate picture of her without them before putting her back on them. She has been on medication since she was 4. (not my choice my parents did that when she lived with them ).
I could really use some advice right now. Is this behavior normal for a 7 year old? Maybe I am just paranoid...She definitely is Dyslexic, has ADHD, and has mood issues, she also went to an OT therapist and they said it seemed clear she does have sensory issues (and this is ON THE MEDS).
Anyway I have finally just flat out told them if she can't do it she can't do it end of story. I have begun journaling her daily behaviors, I have made a sticker chart that has been working (although Piper can't read the chart so i am going to develop one made out of pictures for her ), and I have included another chart for amount of time spent on homework spelling words a day that I put right in her communication book.
I had made a communication book with emoticons where the teacher could simply check off Piper's mood as she completed the tasks each day and they said it was too complicated. Which I find amusing because all they do not is check mark whether or not she did the task. Anyway, so it is back to the drawing board on the communication book.
Another set back is Piper's recent unusual behavior which has included whispering to herself daily, especially at night, repeating her name over and over again, chewing on her sleeves (she's always done that but it seemed like it has stopped for a while), and licking EVERYTHING. She was even licking the windows of my dad's new car.
Because she gets her medication at night a little later now I think that might contribute to the behaviors from last night. She came out of the hallway of the boys and girls club going "Piper Piper Piper Piper Piper Piper" she had to touch everything, including glass picture frames that I had to stop her or they would have broken, and it was difficult to not only get her to get her coat, but to get it on her because she kept missing the sleeve and spinning around. Piper has always displayed these behaviors but not as often as this and the medication has kept them within reason. I am beginning to worry that the medication is making her worse (in the sense that if she were to stop taking it she would be WORSE, even though now it helps control her symptoms).
I really want to stop the medication and let it flush out of her system and then really get an idea of what she is really like without it because some of the stuff is getting weird. She even has talked to herself in the third person, but was serious. She had a temper tantrum when she asked for 3 hot dogs and I JOKINGLY told her she could only have a half of hot dog.
I really want to stop the medication before it does more damage and /or at the very least see what her behaviors are without it. The medication doesn't seem to be working as well anyway probably because she is growing and the dosage stays the same.
I wish I knew what to do..................If it weren't for the school i would wean her off the meds just to get an accurate picture of her without them before putting her back on them. She has been on medication since she was 4. (not my choice my parents did that when she lived with them ).
I could really use some advice right now. Is this behavior normal for a 7 year old? Maybe I am just paranoid...She definitely is Dyslexic, has ADHD, and has mood issues, she also went to an OT therapist and they said it seemed clear she does have sensory issues (and this is ON THE MEDS).
Friday, January 27, 2012
Dyslexia and Dyscalculia
My daughter's struggles with reading and writing are now overlapping with her math. She is able to do simple math by using her fingers or other objects to count on (obviously this is fine for kids that age). Her numbers are written backwards, transposed, and read from right to left.
With her letters, it is inconsistent with regard to writing the letters backwards or the words from right to left. With her numbers if they are two digits she always writes them from right to left. "18" she writes as "81". If she sees "18" she will read "81". If it were once in a while I would not be that concerned. It is basically always. If she is given a multiple choice question with the right number on a list and she writes the number by copying it, then she will write it correctly.
When she was evaluated for Dyslexia she was also evaluated for overall intelligence. It was a neuropsychological evaluation that included Dyslexia. These tests also showed weaknesses in math. I have been focusing so much on the reading and spelling that I didn't really pay much attention to this area.
This poor little girl is having such a hard time and is at a early kindergarten level in everything. Although, socially, she is seeming to develop some social skills and interact with kids her age more then before.
With all the different overlapping diagnoses such as autism, ADHD, mood disorders, sensory processing disorder, dyslexia, (and now the thought of Dyscalculia, which is the Dyslexic equivalent to math.... etc etc I wish that I could really know for sure what is going on here.
All I know is that she is a really sweet little girl and every day is really opening up with talking and expressing herself. She still has her outbursts, and tantrums, and is very difficult to get her to follow instructions, but she really is an awesome kid.
Her big sister scored the opposite on all her testing. She scored very high in the superior range on mostly everything or high average. Although attention was seriously lacking. If she had been able to maintain attention she probably could have scored higher. Maybe she will help with my other daughter:)
With her letters, it is inconsistent with regard to writing the letters backwards or the words from right to left. With her numbers if they are two digits she always writes them from right to left. "18" she writes as "81". If she sees "18" she will read "81". If it were once in a while I would not be that concerned. It is basically always. If she is given a multiple choice question with the right number on a list and she writes the number by copying it, then she will write it correctly.
When she was evaluated for Dyslexia she was also evaluated for overall intelligence. It was a neuropsychological evaluation that included Dyslexia. These tests also showed weaknesses in math. I have been focusing so much on the reading and spelling that I didn't really pay much attention to this area.
This poor little girl is having such a hard time and is at a early kindergarten level in everything. Although, socially, she is seeming to develop some social skills and interact with kids her age more then before.
With all the different overlapping diagnoses such as autism, ADHD, mood disorders, sensory processing disorder, dyslexia, (and now the thought of Dyscalculia, which is the Dyslexic equivalent to math.... etc etc I wish that I could really know for sure what is going on here.
All I know is that she is a really sweet little girl and every day is really opening up with talking and expressing herself. She still has her outbursts, and tantrums, and is very difficult to get her to follow instructions, but she really is an awesome kid.
Her big sister scored the opposite on all her testing. She scored very high in the superior range on mostly everything or high average. Although attention was seriously lacking. If she had been able to maintain attention she probably could have scored higher. Maybe she will help with my other daughter:)
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Difficulty Managing Emotions
I think that everyone has certain expectations of the people around them that aren't always met. For me it is the expectation that people will notice that I am tired, frustrated, or hurting. The fact that they don't notice makes me feel even more tired, frustrated, and hurt.
I am currently in a place where it is hard not to think that that person is doing that delibratley to hurt me and make my life more miserable. I feel like I express myself clearly and let people know what I need from them and my personal boundaries are.
One of my things is I absolutely hate noise. You would think that with a million kids and a lot of foot traffic around the house that I would be accustomed to it by now...but I hate it. Everyday I think that me getting upset about too much noise the day before would make people realize how much I hate it and they'd stop. I know that I am being unreasonable to expect a quiet, calm, home with even non-"hyper" children.
I am woken up multiple times every night by people walking around, cooking, talking, this is only increasing my irritability. I feel like I want to burst out of my body and just scream at everyone to shut the hell up, except I do that, and it still doesn't work.
I guess what I am saying is that I work my ass off to make sure that we have food, and the rent is paid, and my kids get the education that is rightfully theirs, and the millions of trips to doctors for help for them. I just want to feel like I have a purpose in life and that someone notices how hard I try to juggle everything. It really is just too much for me to be perfect at everything all at once. I guess I am the hardest on myself because i want everything to be perfect in every aspect of my life (who doesn't).
I get criticized by people that don't know my kids or the struggles I face every day, People who dropping $200 on a coat is no big thing, or having a car that runs and having the money to maintain it, or being able to keep their houses perfect and spotless. Every day I am glad I get through it. I ask for help from my mom on ocassion for babysitting or something similar, and the minute I do my mom makes a comment indicating because I am asking for her help that I am inferior as a mother.
I remember my whole life my mother was extremely critical of me. Every second of the day. I try to not fall into that trap. Although I do have my beliefs that children should not be so stuck on herself. My oldest daughter has been taught that if I can't drop everything to go bring her the homework she forgot that that really means I don't love her and I hope she doesn't succeed. She gives me an attitude if I don't have a $1.00 to put in a vending machine. Like, why don't you? I try to teach her that family is more important then things. She is such a beautiful, awesome kid that it really breaks my heart to see her turning into something I don't recognize. I try to tell her otherwise but then she's been so poisoned it is difficult. If someone can just spend all this money on her and I can't that means that I don't care about her. I get stuff from charities like food, and christmas presents, and she knows that, and she will ask "did you buy this or did you get it for free?" Because if I get it for free it is meaningless to her. Even though I went out of my way to find it for her or sign up for the programs it is not enough if I didn't personally spend the money on it.
This stuff is eating me alive. All I want is to be valued and appreciated and I am sorry if that sounds selfish but seriously what human being doesn't want that? No one is going to feel that way every day, especially not by children who don't understand that life is different for other kids.
Anyway, I needed to vent, because if I didn't this anger and resentment would've built up. whether I have a "right" to be angry or resentful or not these feelings are still here, and must be released.
I am currently in a place where it is hard not to think that that person is doing that delibratley to hurt me and make my life more miserable. I feel like I express myself clearly and let people know what I need from them and my personal boundaries are.
One of my things is I absolutely hate noise. You would think that with a million kids and a lot of foot traffic around the house that I would be accustomed to it by now...but I hate it. Everyday I think that me getting upset about too much noise the day before would make people realize how much I hate it and they'd stop. I know that I am being unreasonable to expect a quiet, calm, home with even non-"hyper" children.
I am woken up multiple times every night by people walking around, cooking, talking, this is only increasing my irritability. I feel like I want to burst out of my body and just scream at everyone to shut the hell up, except I do that, and it still doesn't work.
I guess what I am saying is that I work my ass off to make sure that we have food, and the rent is paid, and my kids get the education that is rightfully theirs, and the millions of trips to doctors for help for them. I just want to feel like I have a purpose in life and that someone notices how hard I try to juggle everything. It really is just too much for me to be perfect at everything all at once. I guess I am the hardest on myself because i want everything to be perfect in every aspect of my life (who doesn't).
I get criticized by people that don't know my kids or the struggles I face every day, People who dropping $200 on a coat is no big thing, or having a car that runs and having the money to maintain it, or being able to keep their houses perfect and spotless. Every day I am glad I get through it. I ask for help from my mom on ocassion for babysitting or something similar, and the minute I do my mom makes a comment indicating because I am asking for her help that I am inferior as a mother.
I remember my whole life my mother was extremely critical of me. Every second of the day. I try to not fall into that trap. Although I do have my beliefs that children should not be so stuck on herself. My oldest daughter has been taught that if I can't drop everything to go bring her the homework she forgot that that really means I don't love her and I hope she doesn't succeed. She gives me an attitude if I don't have a $1.00 to put in a vending machine. Like, why don't you? I try to teach her that family is more important then things. She is such a beautiful, awesome kid that it really breaks my heart to see her turning into something I don't recognize. I try to tell her otherwise but then she's been so poisoned it is difficult. If someone can just spend all this money on her and I can't that means that I don't care about her. I get stuff from charities like food, and christmas presents, and she knows that, and she will ask "did you buy this or did you get it for free?" Because if I get it for free it is meaningless to her. Even though I went out of my way to find it for her or sign up for the programs it is not enough if I didn't personally spend the money on it.
This stuff is eating me alive. All I want is to be valued and appreciated and I am sorry if that sounds selfish but seriously what human being doesn't want that? No one is going to feel that way every day, especially not by children who don't understand that life is different for other kids.
Anyway, I needed to vent, because if I didn't this anger and resentment would've built up. whether I have a "right" to be angry or resentful or not these feelings are still here, and must be released.
Thursday, January 12, 2012
My Daughter's Progress
If you have been reading my blog you know that I have been frustrated with the schools lack of attention to my daughter's needs.
I have also requested her to be observed by one of the Community Service Agencies involved with my case during a spelling test. I find it amusing that following that request all of a sudden they have jumped on board with the multi-sensory instruction for my daughter! This week she has been able to spell about four of her ten words consistently for three days. For my daughter that is a huge achievement because she lacks the ability to retain the words and to decode them using their sounds. Even if she is just memorizing the sequence (and not knowing the words because of how they sound), her being able to do that is still a step up from where she was last week.
The school has insulted me and made me feel inadequate and even wrote in my daughter's report card "I am afraid that she isn't getting enough attention at home". That was the reason that they chose to use to explain Piper's difficulty in reading. When it comes to being a good mom trust me I already am filled with self-doubt and constant fear that I am not good enough for my kids! I don't need someone else to tell me that to feel it. I felt like her teacher should come home and work with Piper for the excruciating hours of time it takes for her to get through her spelling words, only to have her not be able to remember them the next morning! Now that I have had an independent evaluator back me up on Piper's OBVIOUS phonological processing issues as well as attention issues the school has FINALLY begun to realize that her needs go much father then "lack of attention at home!" (Quite the opposite Piper receives the most attention due to her difficulties and no matter how much we worked it never felt like we were getting anywhere).
Anyway, the point to this story is to say that although Piper is still having difficulties with reading and spelling she has been able to memorize 4 out of her 10 spelling words and recite them to me without any help except for a little hint as to the sound the next letter might make (occasionally). This proves all along that the multi-sensory approach, as well as other services, are right for Piper.
As much as I try not to get angry at the teacher for the rude comments that she has made throughout the school year (basically saying Piper wasn't practicing enough, or paying enough attention, or blah blah blah ....), it is even more emotional now knowing that the whole time I was being blamed by them and blaming myself that it is obvious that this is no one's fault. It really is sad that I do not like my daughter's teacher and I am not seeming to be able to get over that at this moment, because me wanting to yell at her isn't in my daughter's best interests!
I have another I.E.P meeting coming up in March it is to amend her I.E.P to include educational goals as well as behavioral and emotional goals to the sad I.E.P they gave her previously. I had to fight just to get the I.E.P in the first place. My daughter is about a year behind academically then the rest of her class!
On the advice of another parent in a similar situation I am also getting an occupational therapy and functional behavioral assessment done and when the results of that are in we will see what her needs are and where she is at.
For right now the school finally giving her the services she needs it is helping a lot and they are actually doing it prior to the I.E.P meeting. However, I am a little suspicious that they started it now that I wanted her to be observed in the school setting. Oh well. My daughter deserves it and I am glad she is getting it now and that she will be after the I.E.P meeting.
I have also requested her to be observed by one of the Community Service Agencies involved with my case during a spelling test. I find it amusing that following that request all of a sudden they have jumped on board with the multi-sensory instruction for my daughter! This week she has been able to spell about four of her ten words consistently for three days. For my daughter that is a huge achievement because she lacks the ability to retain the words and to decode them using their sounds. Even if she is just memorizing the sequence (and not knowing the words because of how they sound), her being able to do that is still a step up from where she was last week.
The school has insulted me and made me feel inadequate and even wrote in my daughter's report card "I am afraid that she isn't getting enough attention at home". That was the reason that they chose to use to explain Piper's difficulty in reading. When it comes to being a good mom trust me I already am filled with self-doubt and constant fear that I am not good enough for my kids! I don't need someone else to tell me that to feel it. I felt like her teacher should come home and work with Piper for the excruciating hours of time it takes for her to get through her spelling words, only to have her not be able to remember them the next morning! Now that I have had an independent evaluator back me up on Piper's OBVIOUS phonological processing issues as well as attention issues the school has FINALLY begun to realize that her needs go much father then "lack of attention at home!" (Quite the opposite Piper receives the most attention due to her difficulties and no matter how much we worked it never felt like we were getting anywhere).
Anyway, the point to this story is to say that although Piper is still having difficulties with reading and spelling she has been able to memorize 4 out of her 10 spelling words and recite them to me without any help except for a little hint as to the sound the next letter might make (occasionally). This proves all along that the multi-sensory approach, as well as other services, are right for Piper.
As much as I try not to get angry at the teacher for the rude comments that she has made throughout the school year (basically saying Piper wasn't practicing enough, or paying enough attention, or blah blah blah ....), it is even more emotional now knowing that the whole time I was being blamed by them and blaming myself that it is obvious that this is no one's fault. It really is sad that I do not like my daughter's teacher and I am not seeming to be able to get over that at this moment, because me wanting to yell at her isn't in my daughter's best interests!
I have another I.E.P meeting coming up in March it is to amend her I.E.P to include educational goals as well as behavioral and emotional goals to the sad I.E.P they gave her previously. I had to fight just to get the I.E.P in the first place. My daughter is about a year behind academically then the rest of her class!
On the advice of another parent in a similar situation I am also getting an occupational therapy and functional behavioral assessment done and when the results of that are in we will see what her needs are and where she is at.
For right now the school finally giving her the services she needs it is helping a lot and they are actually doing it prior to the I.E.P meeting. However, I am a little suspicious that they started it now that I wanted her to be observed in the school setting. Oh well. My daughter deserves it and I am glad she is getting it now and that she will be after the I.E.P meeting.
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